A Postcard

So I got a postcard from my dear friend Patti, who is going to school in Boston. It's an all girls school (I see no point). Anyway, the postcard made me laugh so hard and I read it to practically everyone. Enjoy.

Keanu really does act like a piece of wood.

HELLO! (sorry)

See the key below for "help" reading...this..?


Greetings! My name is Nicole!
And my "name" is Francois.
(Her actual name is Marlee). 
Damn you for giving away my true identity! 
What identity? Who are you even hiding from? We all know you! 
The IRS...?
Really?
Yes. I have a job and I do pay taxes therefore I am incognito.
Fine. Stupid adult.
You're damn right. Catch as catch can! 
Okay, you don't need to bring W.A.S. into this...
Keith and Chris will appreciate the reference.
Oh definitely. 
Just for future reference, all of our posts will not be together like this. Sorry for anyone who is reading...catch as catch can... 
So, about that introduction we promised...
We didn't promise anything! If you say that, they expect something from you like a birthday present or a holiday greeting!
Well my words are gifts to those who hear them from my mouth due to the fact that I don't speak very often. 
Thank you for reading that aloud for me. We are in fact "jogging" at the moment. 
You're welcome. and thanks to stereomood, we indeed ARE "jogging".
Thanks for putting a lower case "a" at the beginning of that. Starting the school year off right.
You betcha! Honors English 4!
A.P English 4!...with no real exam to test my "abilities" because I was "cheap".
Well I'm in Spanish 5 Honors as well! 
A.P Studio Art 4...(?) AND I got a 4 on the "exam". 
Goddamn art student...
I try...with poor effort. 
Hey, what song is this?? 
Lemme check... "Spin The Black Circle" by PEARL JAM!? Ok...so you have to be glad that you're only reading this and weren't here for the "discussion" we just had. Guitar picks, blue, red, purple, head, tails...confusion. 
That wasn't even a discussion! It was just us being stupid! 
A rare moment for us.
Well, if you remember that time we went to New York City...
NO! Don't bring up my lesbian jokes! Oh wait...you weren't gonna say that? Fuck... 
Well now that you mentioned it Ms. "We Look Like Tough Lesbians". 
Whatever...we did...
Yeah, but its not like you kissed me
....................... I didn't..... Catch as catch can!!!!!!!
Oh gosh.... so guitar lesson soon?
HELL YEAH!
wicked! we'll lay down some fat beatz yo!
PHAT! "Phat" = "kewl" = cool. Fat = "Oh wow, he is soooooooooooooooooooooooo huge." 
I thought it was "pa-hat". 
That's my brother's name! 
There's no H in his name!
Yes there is...Pahatrick.
His name isn't Rick...
MY NAME'S NOT RICK!!!!!!!!! This blogs going nowhere! Too bad we ran out of Coke in our novelty Coke glasses.
Could you imagine if they made eye glasses with Coke in them? 
HOLY SHIT I WOULD BUY THOSE! And i would buy additional pairs for my classmates in Pre-Algebra who I know would appreciate it but not aloud. 
We'd be able to see AND not be thirsty at the SAME TIME!
That reminds me...STUPID INFLATABLE PANTS!
"Pretty Patties! Available in 6 designer colors!"
They remind me of home... AND THEY RULE! 
I didn't know you were Scottish...
I am...quite Scottish. 
Oh, like I am quite Canadian! 
No! You kinda are Canadian...I'm not Scottish just like how Charlie is NOT American in any sense. 
Y'all come back now, ya hear!
I can't wait to be married to him. He'll ask me for the "al-ume-in-yum" foil and I won't know what the fuck he's talking about and then I'll throw the ALUMINUM foil at his head which he will catch in his long flowing hair.
I wonder what color it'll be then. 
I'll send you our Christmas card so you'll know. There will be a photo attached...hopefully one like in Harry Potter where the picture moves! 
What! I'm not invited to your wedding!?!? 
Oh shit! You are...sorry. The music you are listening to is completely electronic. I love the Cooking Time playlist. 
It is amamzing! I can't spell...fix it. 
I...don't see the problem...OH WAIT! Amazing.... 
I don't know what to say.....
DONE! 

Key

Red = Nicole

Blue = Marlee

Purple = Both...at the same time!